I don't think I've seen a magpie, nor would I know one if I heard one. Are they native to my part of Grey Goatee Nation? No idea. Doesn't matter. My boys, the sporting gentlemen of the 3GA, were chattering on like Heckle and Jeckle, giggling by text message just after securing reservations for … [Read more...]
There’s no next-best thing
We begin at the top when we start in to list the global sporting championships compromised by COVID-19. It's no joking matter, so we speak in hushed tones about postponement of the Bent Shaft Classic and lesser world events. It's not a tragedy. It's just a golf tournament. But what will we do with … [Read more...]
Pardon edition
I'm the Commissar, which is all you or anyone needs to know about My fat regal ass and My divine right to spew My rancid guts out on the heads of the innocent and grant pardon to My friends in the next gasp. There is only One Commissar, so therefore I write The Rules of Being the Commissar, … [Read more...]
Participation edition
The best players in women's golf, which maybe almost not quite passes the straight-face test, are in Scotland this weekend for a little exhibition called the Solheim Cup. The best players in men's golf, which I couldn't say with a straight face if it was paralyzed, flat turned to plaster, are … [Read more...]
Howl freely
The 3GA Tour's midsummer major, a little somethin' we call the Howl at the Canal, is your ticket to bona fide family entertainment in the heart of Mason County USA. The 14th annual debauch at Alderbrook Golf and Yacht will test the upper limits of the sound ordinance, if they have one, in lovely … [Read more...]
Entrapped epiglottis edition
Omaha Beach was scratched from Saturday’s Kentucky Derby, meaning, among other things, that he won’t win the Triple Crown but might otherwise expect a decent career as an elite thoroughbred racer before retiring to the barn to party like a stud pony. I know you or I, faced with the same life … [Read more...]
Of galleries and geese
Pernilla Lindberg isn't big, at 5-foot-5, so she's no Big Swede out of Sweden, the Scandinavian country in Scandinavia, but she can claim a professional major on her resume, which puts her in the company of countrypersons Annika Sorenstam and Henrik Stenson, the original Big Swede. Lindberg is … [Read more...]
What’s in my bag?
You've seen the ads for Justin Rose and his move to Honma clubs. The Japanese luxury brand inked Rose, then the World No. 2, on the first day of the New Year. Rose is now World No. 1, and smashed right through any break-in angst over his shiny new sticks by winning with them at the Farmers week … [Read more...]
Rookie golfer of the year
SNOQUALMIE, Wash. -- Near to the home precincts of Grey Goatee Nation this week we have the Boeing Classic, a stop on the Champions Tour for old fuckers who still got game. Jerry Kelly is the defending champion at The Club at Snoqualmie Ridge -- last year, as a senior circuit rookie, he got a … [Read more...]
Women’s edition
If it's a typo, and it sure seems like it, it's been repeated in all the places they're writing about the Women's U.S. Open. Placed a call to the crack Grey Goatee Research Cult: It's not a typo. Jeongeun Lee might not be the only Jeongeun Lee in the field, but after an opening-round 67, … [Read more...]
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