Thanksgiving Day Nov. 28, 2019: On which we appreciate golf and its large place in our lives, notwithstanding that it rips our guts out and makes us drink and takes us away for hours and days from our loving families. We know what you’re thinking, and no, this day is for family time … … [Read more...]
Minnehaha explained
Minnehaha Country Club in South Dakota, which is said to be south of North Dakota, is the site of this weekend's Sanford Invitational for the older gentlemen of the Champions Tour. The name of the club derives, we believe, from Henry Wadsworth Longfellow's poem "The Song of Hiawatha," which is … [Read more...]
Participation edition
The best players in women's golf, which maybe almost not quite passes the straight-face test, are in Scotland this weekend for a little exhibition called the Solheim Cup. This is us The best players in men's golf, which I couldn't say with a straight face if it was paralyzed, flat turned to … [Read more...]
Monday Mess: Labor edition
Labor Day, 2019, and the only real work I have to do today is walk the d-o-g in the early-morning f-o-g and the only work he has to do is push out the shit for me to find in the Pampas grass in front of the building across the street from the house where I live with the girls and all the other … [Read more...]
Wait for it …
The next big thing in big-time men's golf is the Presidents Cup in December, and boy oh boy our boys are eager to win one for the prez in Australia, right there where people remember how our hero alienated the Aussie prime minister over the telephone, butt-dialed him or something, then got pissy … [Read more...]
Do not do the math
We won't be testing the algorithms and paroxysms and quadralytic equations supporting the new scoring system that will Sunday reward the winner of the FedEx Cup with a big fat check. These are $15 million calculations, and it hurts my head to think about 'em. To the fore comes Ryan … [Read more...]
Maj. Major edition
In the limitless wisdom of the schedulers of the big-time professional golf tours, it must have seemed like a good idea to somebody to schedule, this week, a Champions Tour major against an LPGA major. It flat guarantees that constituents of neither will pay attention to the other, which is okay, … [Read more...]
Fleetwood, of a fashion
We watch, from a safe distance, as the famously astute Grey Goatee Fashion Committee goes about its work. There is much at stake: nothing less, today, than the Champion Dresser of the Year. We wonder, right along with the rest of you, about the committee and its members and their deliberations … [Read more...]
By its whiskey be told
The best way to think about the difference between Northern Ireland and the Republic of Ireland is not in religious or geopolitical terms, fraught as they are, nor even in terms of golf. As Shane Lowry said, “Everyone knows we’re all one country when it comes to golf.” We wouldn’t argue with the … [Read more...]
Lowry by the numbers
8:33 a.m. Grey Goatee Mean Time Shane Lowry carries 102 kg, which is roundabout 225 ell bees sculpted in a kind of way on his 1.85-meter frame, The ne'er-do-wells in the Grey Goatee Research cell shared these vital statistics about the ath-a-lete who is leading The Open Championship. We … [Read more...]
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