So the guy walks into the bar, orders a martini, and then steps away from the counter and heads for the head. This is not a joke. When he comes back, he fully expects to see a cocktail glass filled with gin and a couple olives sitting on the bar at his spot. He finds nothing. The bartender, … [Read more...]
News flash: Science proves pro golfers have better swings than amateurs
(This story was originally posted on Aug. 1, 2011) In an issue that included studies headlined “Differences in Geriatric Anthropometric Data Between DXA-Based Subject-Specific Estimates and Non-Age-Specific Traditional Regression Models,” and other titles similarly impenetrable, the latest … [Read more...]
Howl freely
The 3GA Tour's midsummer major, a little somethin' we call the Howl at the Canal, is your ticket to bona fide family entertainment in the heart of Mason County USA. The 21st annual debauch at Alderbrook Golf and Yacht will test the upper limits of the sound ordinance, if they have one, in lovely … [Read more...]
This damn game
(This story was originally posted on June 18, 2013) LACEY USA – It was a scorecard the likes of which I’d never experienced … all sixes … until No. 9, when I missed a bogey putt for 7. It meant two of the sixes were bogeys – okay. It meant two of the sixes were triples. It meant I played all … [Read more...]
This damn game: Tuck-It edition
(This story was originally posted on June 22, 2013) TUMWATER USA – It's the course nearest to his heart, the course closest in space and time to Grey Goatee World Headquarters, a benign and scenic muni in this former brewery town which, as recently as this week, played host … [Read more...]
This damn game: Two shadows over
Death too frequent Darkness lasting late Dampness in the ground and bones Worked on me hard this spring. The sun rose early enough this morning for a front-nine Dawn Patrol at the Golf Course in the Valley of the Shadow of the Brewery. It's the water, here, and it came this morning … [Read more...]
This damn game: Dawn Patrol, with woodpecker
IN THE EARLY MORNING, some days, the dew glistens in the brilliant sunshine and makes a golf ball disappear in plain sight like it was just another point of light among millions. Today was cloudy, more burnished silver than yellow-gold shiny, and golf balls were easier to find in the odd places they … [Read more...]
This damn game
Dawn Patrol, first of the season, at the Golf Course in the Valley of the Shadow of the Brewery, alone with my thoughts, too too alone … Sing with me, won’t you? Muscle memory, dim in corners of my mindMisty sprinkler-spattered memories, like, dang …Really? All those lessons?All we spent on … [Read more...]
This damn game: Masters Sunday edition
It's sort of like a cynical grownup version of hoops in the driveway and HE SHOOTS HE SCOOOORES!! We're just four old guys playing golf with no stakes whatsoever and all we've been doing for three days before we went to an actual golf course to play is watch the Masters on our … [Read more...]
Grey Goatee on a sporting Saturday
We greying goats of the Association look good on paper. We have all the metrics. Our SARs (strokes above replacement) are all high, or low, whichever is better, nobody quite knows. Our CRS is off the charts ... we think the letters stand for Crown Royal Shots, and whether that's true or not, we act … [Read more...]
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