I learned something today, and it was only later, after I watched the first two episodes of “Mr. Robot,” that I thought it’s a little scary, what I learned.
Which is this: Every baseball used in a major league game is tracked from its first use (a pitcher pitches it) until it’s taken out of play. I learned this from a sales guy in the Mariners’ souvenir store at Safeco Field, where you can pay super-inflated prices for autographed baseballs and other memorabilia and pay smaller inflated prices for a “game-used” ball or bat.
My friend paid $30 for a game-used ball distinguished only by discoloration from a Mike Montgomery pitch in the dirt. Nothing else noteworthy happened to it — no bat collided with it, no actual baseball play was made with it, but because it was scuffed, it was taken out of play. And later, a price tag was applied.
Once I learned that, I couldn’t watch the baseball game the same way, which was okay because the M’s were losing again for the usual reasons. But there were plenty of baseballs used, and every single one was tracked. Scary.
“Mr. Robot” is now my new favorite show, because who doesn’t want their paranoia validated? Yes, the creepy corporation is watching everything you do, every click of your mouse, every guilty purchase of game-used baseballs, even if your wife never finds out.
I now believe they’re tracking every golf ball I hit in every round I play. I don’t know how they know, but they know what happens to my ball when it goes in the trees … they know how it gets out of the trees and back on the golf course, even if my buddies never find out.
They don’t want us to know they know. But they know. Oh, they know.
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