We wrote this a couple days ago: ” … (S)ports figures have been mostly absent lately in the rash of sexual bad acts brought to light. We’re waiting for that shoe to drop.”
The tasseled loafer, boys and girls, has hit the faux-oak laminate. No one was too surprised to hear it belonged to Warren Moon, Hall of Fame QB and media star in the biggest city in the Northwest corner of Grey Goatee Nation. We’ve heard it about him before, with “settled out of court” and “no charges ever brought” attached.
We haven’t forgotten about Ezekiel Elliott, who must have believed there are no consequences in the NFL for abuse of women. Well, yes there are: When he finally had to serve his suspension, it fucked up a lot of fantasy teams.
And, thus, our self-esteem in tatters, we turn to Stuart Smalley to model some much-needed affirmation: “I am an attractive person … I am fun to be with … I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it, women like me.”