Kooch v. Kiz

5 p.m. Grey Goatee Mean Time

It was Kisner over Kuchar in the final of the WGC match-play event in Austin, which I hope made you a pile of cash, perhaps to mitigate your losses when Michigan State beat Duke to go to the Final Four.

Baseball note: Even with all the groovy new metrics imposed on the old game, four straight wide ones still makes a base on balls, even with a three-run lead in the 9th, and four straight walks scores a run. Mariners held on to beat the Sox, and stand today with the best record in baseball.

I think we’ve seen enough to see patterns emerging. Mariners are a first-place team. And the Red Sox should be sorely worried about their starting pitching.

I mean, it’s damn near April already.

1:59 p.m., Grey Goatee Mean Time

Too much sports on my television set today … right now, Auburn-Kentucky in a close one to go to the Final Four; the first-place Seattle Mariners (say it now while you can) playing the world champeens; and Kuchar versus Kisner in the final of the WGC match play

Auburn just won in OT, which as you know I predicted, maybe not right here in digital ink on this screen, but I assure you, your trust in me is not misplaced, notwithstanding that I picked Xander Schauffele to win the match-play event.

Look at at it this way: Schauffele would have won if he’d played better, right? I can’t be expected to go out and play for him, too, can I?

So: it’s Kisner over Kuchar. Mark it down, loyal Nation.