Herewith the reasons these players who could win The Open Championship will not win The Open Championship:
Brooks Koepka: Too obvious
Patrick Cantlay: Too who?
Phil Mickelson: Too weak, too wan
Patrick Reed: Too green
Tiger Woods: Too soon
Bryson DeChambeau: Too smart
Dustin Johnson: Too tall
Jordan Spieth: Too late
Rory McIlroy: Too close
Justin Thomas: Too ‘17
Gary Woodland: Nah
Rickie Fowler: Too nice
Matt Kuchar: Too never
Bubba Watson: Too Bubba
Xander Schauffele: Too due
Francesco Molinari: 2KOOL 2B 4GOTTEN
Justin Rose: So ready; so tough; so NOT on this list.
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