5:44 a.m. Grey Goatee Mean Time The opening tee shot of The Open at Royal Portrush belonged to the 2011 Champion Golfer of the Year, a 50-year-old Northern Irishman swinging around the tournament’s most impressive belly. Darren Clarke’s drive drew nicely onto the right edge of the fairway, … [Read more...]
The Open Championship: We know why (and who)
Herewith the reasons these players who could win The Open Championship will not win The Open Championship: Brooks Koepka: Too obvious Patrick Cantlay: Too who? Phil Mickelson: Too weak, too wan Patrick Reed: Too green Tiger Woods: Too soon Bryson DeChambeau: Too smart Dustin Johnson: Too … [Read more...]
Howl freely
The 3GA Tour's midsummer major, a little somethin' we call the Howl at the Canal, is your ticket to bona fide family entertainment in the heart of Mason County USA. The 14th annual debauch at Alderbrook Golf and Yacht will test the upper limits of the sound ordinance, if they have one, in lovely … [Read more...]
Tibbits: Watch this guy
Tibbits off the tee on 17 Thursday. Saturday, June 15, 2019 PEBBLE BEACH, Calif. -- He's 20, tall and lean, an amateur savvy beyond his growth rings. He has a short game we all can envy. I wrote this about him for his hometown paper, The Columbian of Vancouver, Wash. "Spencer Tibbits … [Read more...]
Prelapsarianism
Friday, June 14, 2019 Webster's Un let me down PEBBLE BEACH, Calif. -- Damn New Yorker writers. I sat there in the U.S. Open media center this morning reading a story about Augusta National Golf Club and its relentless artifice, and I couldn't get past "prelapsarian." I was on the grounds … [Read more...]
Pebbles of wisdom
Media central at Pebble Beach Golf Links Wednesday, June 12, 2019 PEBBLE BEACH, Calif. -- Let it be said the United States' Goffin' Association knows how to put on a spectacle, and the U.S. Open, this one here, is at the consensus No. 1 public golf course in Grey … [Read more...]
The day before the week of U.S. Open week
I know the Great Grey Nation relies on me for my handicapping acumen, and I assure you, yet again, that you can take this Belmont Stakes prediction to the bank assuming as always that you risk no actual United States currency or devalued Euros or dishonored pounds and shillings on the outcome, which … [Read more...]
This damn game 10
Dawn Patrol, first of the season, at the Golf Course in the Valley of the Shadow of the Brewery, alone with my thoughts, too too alone … Sing with me, won’t you? Muscle memory, dim in corners of my mindMisty sprinkler-spattered memories, like, dang …Really? All those lessons?All we spent on … [Read more...]
The calendar says PGA
Monday, May 13 Steve Stricker looks so intelligent and authoritative in his American Family Insurance hat you won't notice he’s bald. Right now, he’s holding a five-stroke lead through 12 holes as pro golf’s over-50 boys play the final round of the Regions Tradition, washed away by rain … [Read more...]
Entrapped epiglottis edition
Omaha Beach was scratched from Saturday’s Kentucky Derby, meaning, among other things, that he won’t win the Triple Crown but might otherwise expect a decent career as an elite thoroughbred racer before retiring to the barn to party like a stud pony. I know you or I, faced with the same life … [Read more...]
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