I'm the Commissar, which is all you or anyone needs to know about My fat regal ass and My divine right to spew My rancid guts out on the heads of the innocent and grant pardon to My friends in the next gasp. There is only One Commissar, so therefore I write The Rules of Being the Commissar, … [Read more...]
News
News of note and notes on the news.
Day 3: My pronouns
Been watching the Presidents Cup flow by on my television set with the sound down, a lot of the time. Our alternative soundtrack today is brought to you by Boz Scaggs's Out of the Blues. Favorite line, from "I've Just Got to Know": I think you want me for conveniency / If I'm wrong please tell me … [Read more...]
Day 2: And then another
The text came in from the brother in America's heartland: "Am I hallucinating or did we just make a putt?" We, baby, is the Americans, baby, and when Patrick Cantlay rolled one in from 14 feet on 18 to win a full point for the RW&B, we were on the way back. You can't have momentum until you … [Read more...]
Day 1: Goofy again at the Prez Cup
The Internationals' unprecedented 4-1 lead after Day One of the Presidents Cup should have been no surprise, given the severe competitive disadvantage faced by our boys. Really with the white pants? If cringing made a sound, you’d be hearing it from the famously astute Grey Goatee Fashion … [Read more...]
This week in golf and culture
Thanksgiving Day Nov. 28, 2019: On which we appreciate golf and its large place in our lives, notwithstanding that it rips our guts out and makes us drink and takes us away for hours and days from our loving families. We know what you’re thinking, and no, this day is for family time … … [Read more...]
Minnehaha explained
Minnehaha Country Club in South Dakota, which is said to be south of North Dakota, is the site of this weekend's Sanford Invitational for the older gentlemen of the Champions Tour. The name of the club derives, we believe, from Henry Wadsworth Longfellow's poem "The Song of Hiawatha," which is … [Read more...]
Participation edition
The best players in women's golf, which maybe almost not quite passes the straight-face test, are in Scotland this weekend for a little exhibition called the Solheim Cup. The best players in men's golf, which I couldn't say with a straight face if it was paralyzed, flat turned to plaster, are … [Read more...]
Wait for it …
The next big thing in big-time men's golf is the Presidents Cup in December, and boy oh boy our boys are eager to win one for the prez in Australia, right there where people remember how our hero alienated the Aussie prime minister over the telephone, butt-dialed him or something, then got pissy … [Read more...]
Maj. Major edition
In the limitless wisdom of the schedulers of the big-time professional golf tours, it must have seemed like a good idea to somebody to schedule, this week, a Champions Tour major against an LPGA major. It flat guarantees that constituents of neither will pay attention to the other, which is okay, … [Read more...]
Fleetwood, of a fashion
We watch, from a safe distance, as the famously astute Grey Goatee Fashion Committee goes about its work. There is much at stake: nothing less, today, than the Champion Dresser of the Year. We wonder, right along with the rest of you, about the committee and its members and their deliberations … [Read more...]
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