5:44 a.m. Grey Goatee Mean Time The opening tee shot of The Open at Royal Portrush belonged to the 2011 Champion Golfer of the Year, a 50-year-old Northern Irishman swinging around the tournament’s most impressive belly. Darren Clarke’s drive drew nicely onto the right edge of the fairway, … [Read more...]
News
News of note and notes on the news.
The Open Championship: We know why (and who)
Herewith the reasons these players who could win The Open Championship will not win The Open Championship: Brooks Koepka: Too obvious Patrick Cantlay: Too who? Phil Mickelson: Too weak, too wan Patrick Reed: Too green Tiger Woods: Too soon Bryson DeChambeau: Too smart Dustin Johnson: Too … [Read more...]
Howl freely
The 3GA Tour's midsummer major, a little somethin' we call the Howl at the Canal, is your ticket to bona fide family entertainment in the heart of Mason County USA. The 14th annual debauch at Alderbrook Golf and Yacht will test the upper limits of the sound ordinance, if they have one, in lovely … [Read more...]
Prelapsarianism
Friday, June 14, 2019 Webster's Un let me down PEBBLE BEACH, Calif. -- Damn New Yorker writers. I sat there in the U.S. Open media center this morning reading a story about Augusta National Golf Club and its relentless artifice, and I couldn't get past "prelapsarian." I was on the grounds … [Read more...]
The calendar says PGA
Monday, May 13 Steve Stricker looks so intelligent and authoritative in his American Family Insurance hat you won't notice he’s bald. Right now, he’s holding a five-stroke lead through 12 holes as pro golf’s over-50 boys play the final round of the Regions Tradition, washed away by rain … [Read more...]
Entrapped epiglottis edition
Omaha Beach was scratched from Saturday’s Kentucky Derby, meaning, among other things, that he won’t win the Triple Crown but might otherwise expect a decent career as an elite thoroughbred racer before retiring to the barn to party like a stud pony. I know you or I, faced with the same life … [Read more...]
Hole locution
Kevin Durant said he was sorry this week after he was party to two double technicals and got himself ejected in a playoff loss to the Clippers … not sorry that he did it or how it hurt his team or offended anybody watching, just sorry, for himself, I guess, that he revealed his true self … [Read more...]
Green days
If it hadn't been for Patrick Reed being the actual defending champion, the Champions Dinner Tuesday at the Masters would have been green-jacketed business as usual. Reed isn't Augusta-friendly, so much -- kind of a dickhead, really -- and maybe that's why we like him around the Nation of Grey. … [Read more...]
Of galleries and geese
Pernilla Lindberg isn't big, at 5-foot-5, so she's no Big Swede out of Sweden, the Scandinavian country in Scandinavia, but she can claim a professional major on her resume, which puts her in the company of countrypersons Annika Sorenstam and Henrik Stenson, the original Big Swede. Lindberg is … [Read more...]
Aqua Velva edition
Even more than his 61st homer of the 1961 season, what sticks in my head about Roger Maris* is his pronouncement, in a television ad, that went something like this: “I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: You can’t beat the LPGA for unique golf news and people.” The last phrase might actually … [Read more...]
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